My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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