yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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