Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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