I understand Curling. That high.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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