Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
