ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
