My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
