Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just pynch a tree in the face
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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