i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
