I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize