We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
