So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
