your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
