I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
