just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
