So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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