So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
