WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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