I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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