Already got asked if we're dating
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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