i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
