So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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