maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
