I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
