It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
