absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Help. Why am I so naked?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
