Will you blow on my dice?
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
