she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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