i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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