Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
