There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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