If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
