its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
