is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
