I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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