Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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