Pappa wants mamma naked
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
