My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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