I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
