i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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