Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
