If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I need moral support for this bender
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
