They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
