part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
