Banned from zoo.
Again?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
