You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
