she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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