did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Everything about him screamed your future.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
