escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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