Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
